"Why Are You So Skinny?"

Oh yes, my favorite question. 

"Baylei, why are you so skinny?"



"Do you eat?"

"You need to put some meat on those bones!"

"You're like a little twig!"

"Oh I can't be rough with you, I'd break you in half!"

And so on, and so on. 

I don't think people realize that these comments are actually very offensive. If there was somebody that had a curvier body structure, would you walk up to them and ask, "Hey, why are you so fat?" Absolutely not. No matter what, it isn't right.

Until my junior year of high school, I was straight up and down. Literally had a body that resembled a twig, or a piece of wood. And boy, was it a struggle. I have always been very insecure about my body, and I don't think people understand this. That just because you are "skinny" and have a body type that is "ideal", you can't get your feelings hurt. People would ask me if I had an eating disorder, if I skipped meals, if I dieted, so many intrusive and downright rude questions that aren't okay in any situation. Some people do struggle with an eating disorder. Would it be okay for you to walk up to them and ask, "why are you so skinny? Do you eat?" No. No no no no no. I am built very tall and very skinny. Both of my parents blessed me with a high metabolism, but they never warned me of all the scrutiny that would come with it.

Freshman year was the hardest year in terms of body issues. I had teachers, educated adults, making comments on my body. My P.E. teacher told me I, "needed to put some meat on my bones" because I, "looked unhealthy." My math teacher asked me how much I weighed, then proceeded to tell me that, "if you are unable to give blood because you weigh under 110 pounds, you are too skinny." Too skinny. These are people that are supposed to be role models for kids, and instead they are putting a teenage girl down and making her feel like there is something wrong with her body. Disgusting. 

Everyone is built a different way. Some people are tall, some are short, some are slim, some are curvy. There is nothing wrong with diversity, and you should never make someone feel bad about who they are and how they look, because they can't change it. There was a point in my life where I tried to gain weight. I ate unhealthy foods excessively, and when I saw no results, I became so frustrated. Why couldn't I have a "normal body?" People would tell me that I'm not going to be able to have kids because I don't have hips worthy of bearing a child, others would refer to me as "the skinny girl". They would tell me I would be more appealing if I had a butt or some boobs.

Since I am also pretty tall, everything looks shorter on me. I have to buy my clothes in a small so it will fit me everywhere else, and though it may not look short on an "average girl", it looks that way on me. People tell me that I look slutty, my shorts are too short, I look unprofessional, and other comments that are just unnecessary. They would tell me things to make me feel like there was something wrong with me. It is not okay to make anyone feel insecure just because you think your words are not hurtful. You never know how your comments could affect someone. 

"Oh but you shouldn't be allowed to get your feelings hurt, skinny shaming isn't a thing." 

So you mean to tell me that when people make comments such as, "Bones are for dogs, I like a girl with some meat" or "Real women have curves" that us "skinny girls" shouldn't take offense to it? Yeah, I'm skinny. I'm light and petite and fragile, and I'm insecure about it at times. There is nothing wrong with that. People say that I should be grateful because being called skinny is a compliment, but I don't think it is. The tone of the comment is never in a complimentary way, instead in a concerned way, like I am ill and should be worried about my health. 

Instead of saying, "wow you look so skinny in that outfit", just tell them that they look great. They look beautiful. That the color brings out their eyes. There are so many other ways to compliment someone. It doesn't need to revolve around their weight. 

I hate the word skinny. I hate the word fat. I hate that there is this constant battle between what's hot and not. Everyone has a preference, everyone has a different body type. Girls struggle with their image these days because they are constantly conflicted with what is "beautiful". Honestly, screw anyone who makes you feel like you need to change to fit their standards. You need to love the skin and bones that you were born with, and find someone who loves them too. Don't live your life trying to please others, just do what makes you happy. 

Guess what? Skinny, fat, tall, short, black, white, asian, rich, poor, whatever it is that you are, just remember that you are perfect in your own way. Do not strive to be anyone else, because there is only one "you" in the world. You are unique and wonderful and it's time that we start embracing this.  Instead of teaching girls that they need to fit the standards of society, let's begin to teach them to love themselves. 

You can't please everyone, instead, simply strive to please yourself. 

The most beautiful thing a woman can wear is confidence, and a smile. 

You're lovely.