Monday, October 17, 2016
Maintaining A Lasting Relationship
Humans strive for a relationship that will last. Whether it is creating a professional bond with a boss, or creating an intimate bond with someone you care about, it is hard to argue that a community could thrive without relationships. The problem with modern relationships is the low priority of maintaining a healthy one.
There was a time of my life when I struggled with security. A lot of the time I didn't realize that my inner struggles were not only affecting me, but also the people around me. I felt like I was a monster. I had people telling me I was crazy. I was irrational. I was a bitch. Why was it all my fault?
And then came the voice of reason: my mom. She took me to a church parking lot, held my hands, looked me in the eye and said to me, "Have you ever wondered if maybe it's someone else? Maybe it's not always you?" From then on, I began to view my relationships from a different perspective. One of the hardest things about keeping yourself healthy and sane is realizing that the strong connections you have with certain people aren't always beneficial. And while it's not always something we want to do, sometimes we have to detox the poisonous people from our lives.
So I did. I lost some friends, a relationship ended, and I felt low. And I knew it would get better, but I never understood to what extent. I began to surround myself with people who were good for me. I created relationships with others who had the same beliefs as me, who shared the same interests, and with those relationships grew a newfound confidence. I had never felt so high in my life. I shared personal writing with my classmates, I talked about literature with my cute coworker, who has sense then become my perfect fit.
But how is this all possible? If it's a two way street, how do we gain the ability to control the oncoming traffic? We don't. We find those who are willing to go with 'our' flow, and together we work to maintain stability.
Personally, the thing I struggled with the most in relationships was jealousy. And whoever tells you that there's nothing wrong with a little bit of jealousy is wrong, and you should tell them that they're wrong. Jealousy is unforgiving; jealousy is mean, nasty, and it only makes things worse. Don't get me wrong, I still get jealous. Sometimes about things that are reasonable, but often times not. But the difference is I don't express those feelings in a negative way. An important aspect of a healthy relationship is security, and when you have it there's no need to worry about anyone else. Flirty girls will come and go, but you'll always be the one to tell your partner that their breath smells, or that their too grumpy for their own good that day. And guess what? They're going to love you anyways.
With confidence and security comes communication. Because sometimes there are going to be silly things that bother you, but you should be able to talk about them. Sometimes as human beings we take our emotions out on others. To a certain extent, there is nothing wrong with this, as long as you communicate it. You snap, and then you follow with, "I didn't mean that. I just had a really awful day at work, but that has nothing to do with you and I'm sorry." I guarantee a healthy conversation will bring your stress levels down, and bring you closer to your partner.
Above all, just have fun. While relationships are supposed to be a serious commitment, there are times when things don't need to be taken so seriously. Be yourself with each other, and simply enjoy each other's company.
People are going to come and go. Some things aren't meant to last forever; some people aren't meant to be in your life. Instead of regretting the toxic relationships in my life, I instead see them as learning experiences. This person was put in my life to teach me a lesson, and now that their lesson is learned, they are no longer needed. Ultimately, just have fun in life. Find people that don't take anything too seriously. You should surround yourself with people who make you the best version of yourself.
I'm inexperienced in life, and I'm still learning how most things work. But to the best of my ability, I will try to share with people the methods I used to become the happiest I've ever been.
What do you do to create lasting relationships with people? What are your experiences with losing toxic people in your life? Let me know, and as always, thanks for reading.
Love,
Tuesday, October 11, 2016
Fall: In the Air, and In My Home
Yes, it's finally fall.
Autumn is my favorite time of year, and whether it's the spiced cakes or the fall scented candles in every room, an itch for decorating takes me over. I've always loved decorating and moving into my own apartment has allowed me to embrace this hobby even more. But there's something about decorating for the holiday seasons that brings out a special joy.
As a college student, I am always looking for ways to decorate on a budget. Today I will be showing you some of my purchases (and even DIY's) of my fall decorations.
The Target "Dollar Spot" is my heaven. Not only are there cute and cheap decorations, (like these "BOO" letters for $3.00 or the copper ball lights for $5.00) but there are also other little bits and pieces that you never knew you needed. This is the first place I browse whenever I take a trip to Target, because you never know what you'll find in there.
My favorite decorations of the year. I saw a picture of jars similar to this on Facebook and decided to make some of my own. I did two coats of paint, and then carved out the faces beforehand with a pencil. Super easy, cheap, and fun! I am looking forward to making Santa and his reindeer ;)
I am obsessed with these mason jar tea light holders. They were only a dollar each at Michael's, and I'm debating going back and buying more. They are a nice edition to an area in your house that needs a little extra something, and my kitchen feels less bare with these in the corner.
If you know me, you know that I am obsessed with candles. You can never have too many, and they add a homey feel to your place by the wonderful scents and relaxing lighting they put off. I splurged at Bath and Body Works and bought a few different scents this season. My favorites are Autumn and Flannel. I can't wait to start buying from their Christmas range!
Decorating is all about color scheme. If you want your house to feel more Autumnal, place lots of warm colors throughout (red, orange, yellow, and brown). I paired these pumpkins and candle cases with the perfect hardcover about Van Gogh. It's the little things that tie the entire room together!
I hope everyone is having as much fun decorating for fall as I am. Next on my list is pumpkin carving and Halloween candy! Share pictures of your favorite decorations, or any cute DIY decorations you've attempted. Whether you're preparing for a snowy winter, or you're like me, simply excited to be able to turn the fireplace on, enjoy autumn while it's here. Try not to bust out the Christmas music and candles too early (November 1st should be fine.)
What are your essentials this fall?
Have a lovely evening!
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