Monday, October 20, 2014
"Why Are You So Skinny?"
Oh yes, my favorite question.
"Baylei, why are you so skinny?"
Thursday, October 16, 2014
Love & Technology | Is It Healthy?
image from t-ransparenc-y.tumblr.com
Hello again,
Unless you have been living under a rock, you would be aware that the world is changing in phenomenal ways. We are a generation that thrives on technology. Everything is online. You can read your books on a Nook or a Kindle, browse your favorite magazine on the publisher's website, find any information you need in a few seconds, et cetera et cetera. This, like every other development America has had over the years, has pros and cons.
I believe this eruption of technological advances has the most impact on my generation. When I was a kid and my family was planning on going anywhere, I would either grab my favorite book or a stuffed animal to play with along the ride. At restaurants, I would color on the menu provided for me, and spend all my summer nights racing scooters or playing kickball in the street with the neighborhood kids. All of these things are very rare now, and it makes me sad. I will go out to dinner with my family, and while walking through the restaurant to our table, I will see kids younger then 10 with their noses in an iPad or iPhone. Middle schoolers have smart phones, giving them access to all the dangerous places the internet offers that they may not be educated on. And it's really, really scary.
I keep myself pretty updated on technology, but there is one thing I refuse to change, and that is my method of reading. Reading on an e-reader will never give you the comforting smell of paper and print, the satisfaction of turning the last page. It terrifies me that one day books will no longer exist, and instead everything will be converted to words on a screen. It frightens me even more for the generation of my children. If I choose to raise my children old fashioned, will they be made fun of? Will they despise me because I'm going to encourage them to read real books, to go outside and play, and to not expose them to technology so early on like parents do today? The whole evolution of it is absolutely frightening.
This brings me onto a more specific topic, which is modern love. No girl should believe that the most she deserves from a guy is for him to make her his woman crush Wednesday on Twitter. I know chivalry still exists, but I worry it is becoming less important the more our generation advances. The grand gesture for a guy to do today is "slide in to your DMs" or "retweet your selfie". People are stuck in this vortex of attention on social media, and will do almost anything to get it. They'll disrespect themselves and deviate from who they truly are to grasp the attention of their followers, and if they don't get it they feel like they aren't as worthy of the girl who got 100+ favorites on a picture of herself. Twitter is dangerous, especially for the self esteem. Your feed is a constant flow of guys doing cute things for a girl with "Relationship Goals" as the caption, or a beautiful girl with people in awe over how perfect she is. Don't let this phase you. You are not any less amazing just because you aren't "popular" on Twitter. If people are saying things over Twitter, especially in a negative way, just feel sorry that they are too cowardly to say it to someone's face.
This is because people hide behind their phones, and often say things over text message or the internet that they wouldn't say to someone face to face, because it's just easier that way. Problems aren't being solved with human interaction anymore. Miscommunication is a popular issue in relationships, because the context of something you say can so easily be misconstrued. The tone of a person's voice gives so much clarity into what they are trying to say to you, but obviously, a text message has no tone, only the words that are in front of you.
Why do we feel the need to be glued to our phones? Are we going to miss that much if we turn our phones off for just a day and go do something exciting? I watch movies and see the classic "guy throws girl in the pool" bit and think to myself, "That can't even happen anymore because people have their phone in their pocket at all times." I'll see couples out on a date, and they won't even be talking to each other, instead they'll be checking their phones, maybe share a word or two, then go back to seeing what's new on Twitter. Even I'm guilty of this, and I hate it. I like to think of technology as a safety blanket for today's society. People feel naked when they don't have their phones with them. If they aren't in the mood to interact with someone, they simply go on their phone and pretend that they are doing something important. How is this going to affect things like job interviews, public speaking skills, getting to know people, and simply the art of human interaction? Probably not very positively.
Don't get me wrong, there are beautiful benefits to this Technological Revolution. Quite ironically, I wouldn't be able to be writing this post, and getting my voice out on the internet, if it weren't for technology. I don't let it impair my ability to communicate in person, though, and I think that is starting to become an apparent problem in people, especially teenagers, today.
Love is so much more than what you see on the internet. People's lives look perfect because that's the point. Why would they post about things like losing their jobs, having a terrible fight with their significant other, or just all together having a crappy day? Some people do post about these kinds of these, but psychologically I think it's because they want someone to see it, feel bad for them, and tell them that it's going to be okay.
Make a person ask you out face to face. Don't settle for a text message or Snapchat. If you see an argument begin to erupt, ask to meet up in person, or at least advance to the next step and solve it over a phone call. The best form of love is the one that is silent. The one that you don't need to tell the world how great it is, because it's your happy, little secret that you only want to share with your significant other.
We need to preserve the skill of communication. Emotion, tone, and body language are all important aspects of truly understanding what a person is trying to say. If technology continues to rise, and more people begin to rely on it, the world is going to be one Twitter argument away from disaster.
Embrace technology, but don't let it take over your life.
Until next time,
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Book Review | Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
Hello there!
First, I want to apologize for taking so long to post. It has been a crazy week! Anyways, I finally finished Gone Girl. Actually, I finished last Thursday, but I wanted to wait to post this review until after I saw the movie so I could compare the two.
Gone Girl is a thriller written by novelist Gillian Flynn. It tells the story of Nick and Amy Dunne, and their once perfect, now struggling marriage, and the events that lead up to the disappearance of Amy Dunne. The first portion of the story is told in first person, by both Nick and Amy, Nick telling his story in the present, and Amy telling hers in diary entries from the past.
I can tell how much I am going to enjoy a book after finishing the first page. After reading the first sentence, I was immediately drawn in. I had an extremely busy week with mid terms and papers due, and I still found plenty of time to read the book. The back and forth between the past and present creates a very eerie feel for the book, as you watch the marriage between Amy and Nick unravel with each word you read. The story feels so real. The way the author writes makes you feel like you are in the room with the characters. Like you are watching the police question Nick in the interrogation room, like you're walking next to Amy down the busy streets of New York.
I'm not a fan of stories that give detailed character descriptions, as I have an active imagination while I read. Being able to picture the characters myself creates a more personal relationship between me and the book. Gillian Flynn achieves the perfect balance of description and imagination. I could hear Amy's voice, see Nick's smile. Every technique Flynn used to make this a top notch novel worked perfectly. I found myself so anxious and paranoid as I read the book. I would be reading, and as the suspense would build, I could feel my pulse increase. Chilling, haunting, but beautiful.
Now, I've raved about the positives, but there are negatives to the novel. I am a sucker for a happy ending. It is a crucial aspect in how I judge how good or bad a book is. This story did not have a happy, or satisfying, ending. Which is understandable, the novel is brilliant and I believe it would not have the same effect if Flynn would have ended the book a different way, but I was frustrated when I finished the last page. At the time I did not know it was the last page, since the acknowledgments followed right after. Once I read it, turned the page, and found out that was indeed the end, I was frustrated. For those of you who have read the Divergent series, and know the aggravation of that ending, I felt the same. There isn't much more I can say without giving away the book. Don't take this as my indirect way of telling you not to read the book. The story is beautiful. Brilliant character development, surprises around every corner, a twisted love story is the best way to put it. The ending of the novel gives you a feeling of discomfort, but somehow you accept it.
I finished the book on Thursday, and begged my boyfriend to come see the movie with me that Saturday. I enjoy reading the book before seeing the movie because it gives me an advantage over the rest of the audience. I know what's going to happen, and while I can still be just as shocked, sad, happy, etc. about events that occur throughout the plot, I'm always one step ahead. The movie followed the book in all the right ways. The director, David Fincher, took out and added in the right aspects to make for an interesting movie. I do not like a movie that religiously follows a book, because it gives the reading audience nothing to be surprised about. There were details that were slightly tweaked, but not enough to cause an uproar in the reading community.
The casting was something I had a concern with. I think Rosumand Pike played Amy perfectly. There were other characters that I didn't quite picture the way they were casted. Desi Collings was played by Neil Patrick Harris, who is often depicted as a humorous character. I had a hard time separating Desi from Neil Patrick Harris' renowned role as Barney Stinson in the hit television series How I Met Your Mother. Maybe this makes me a unexperienced/untalented critic of the film, but that's how I felt.
What I can say, with the highest praise, is bravo to both Gillian Flynn and David Fincher. They both did their part in creating an ingenious story. I strongly recommend the book, but I also recommend you read it before seeing the movie.
Until next time,
First, I want to apologize for taking so long to post. It has been a crazy week! Anyways, I finally finished Gone Girl. Actually, I finished last Thursday, but I wanted to wait to post this review until after I saw the movie so I could compare the two.
Gone Girl is a thriller written by novelist Gillian Flynn. It tells the story of Nick and Amy Dunne, and their once perfect, now struggling marriage, and the events that lead up to the disappearance of Amy Dunne. The first portion of the story is told in first person, by both Nick and Amy, Nick telling his story in the present, and Amy telling hers in diary entries from the past.
I can tell how much I am going to enjoy a book after finishing the first page. After reading the first sentence, I was immediately drawn in. I had an extremely busy week with mid terms and papers due, and I still found plenty of time to read the book. The back and forth between the past and present creates a very eerie feel for the book, as you watch the marriage between Amy and Nick unravel with each word you read. The story feels so real. The way the author writes makes you feel like you are in the room with the characters. Like you are watching the police question Nick in the interrogation room, like you're walking next to Amy down the busy streets of New York.
I'm not a fan of stories that give detailed character descriptions, as I have an active imagination while I read. Being able to picture the characters myself creates a more personal relationship between me and the book. Gillian Flynn achieves the perfect balance of description and imagination. I could hear Amy's voice, see Nick's smile. Every technique Flynn used to make this a top notch novel worked perfectly. I found myself so anxious and paranoid as I read the book. I would be reading, and as the suspense would build, I could feel my pulse increase. Chilling, haunting, but beautiful.
Now, I've raved about the positives, but there are negatives to the novel. I am a sucker for a happy ending. It is a crucial aspect in how I judge how good or bad a book is. This story did not have a happy, or satisfying, ending. Which is understandable, the novel is brilliant and I believe it would not have the same effect if Flynn would have ended the book a different way, but I was frustrated when I finished the last page. At the time I did not know it was the last page, since the acknowledgments followed right after. Once I read it, turned the page, and found out that was indeed the end, I was frustrated. For those of you who have read the Divergent series, and know the aggravation of that ending, I felt the same. There isn't much more I can say without giving away the book. Don't take this as my indirect way of telling you not to read the book. The story is beautiful. Brilliant character development, surprises around every corner, a twisted love story is the best way to put it. The ending of the novel gives you a feeling of discomfort, but somehow you accept it.
I finished the book on Thursday, and begged my boyfriend to come see the movie with me that Saturday. I enjoy reading the book before seeing the movie because it gives me an advantage over the rest of the audience. I know what's going to happen, and while I can still be just as shocked, sad, happy, etc. about events that occur throughout the plot, I'm always one step ahead. The movie followed the book in all the right ways. The director, David Fincher, took out and added in the right aspects to make for an interesting movie. I do not like a movie that religiously follows a book, because it gives the reading audience nothing to be surprised about. There were details that were slightly tweaked, but not enough to cause an uproar in the reading community.
The casting was something I had a concern with. I think Rosumand Pike played Amy perfectly. There were other characters that I didn't quite picture the way they were casted. Desi Collings was played by Neil Patrick Harris, who is often depicted as a humorous character. I had a hard time separating Desi from Neil Patrick Harris' renowned role as Barney Stinson in the hit television series How I Met Your Mother. Maybe this makes me a unexperienced/untalented critic of the film, but that's how I felt.
What I can say, with the highest praise, is bravo to both Gillian Flynn and David Fincher. They both did their part in creating an ingenious story. I strongly recommend the book, but I also recommend you read it before seeing the movie.
Until next time,
Thursday, October 9, 2014
Self Image | Battle with PLEVA
This post is going to deviate slightly off the path of my normal blog posts, though I still believe it should be addressed. I'm going to share my experience with what the doctors think I had, and that is the skin disease PLEVA. There are going to be some images further into the post that may be unappealing to certain people, just as a warning before you continue.
First, I'll give you a little information on the disease. PLEVA, short for Pityriasis lichenoides et varioliformis acuta, is an autoimmune skin disease. This disease is categorized by lesions and blisters on the skin, which usually appear on the legs and trunk area. There is no known cause for PLEVA at this time, though there are many different methods to try and cure the disease. Because the disease is autoimmune, there is always a chance that it can come back later on.
Now, I will tell you my story. Around the beginning of August this year, I noticed a small red bump on my left leg. The bump looked like it had puss inside of it, so my initial thought was that it was a bug bite. It did not itch, and it did not hurt, but it was annoying having it there. So, I squeezed the bump and puss came out of it, and that was the end of that. About a week later however, I began to notice a little cluster surrounding the area of the original bump. This caused a red flag, and I decided to tell my mom about it. We had a few speculations of where these bumps could have came from. As a child, I was highly allergic to walnuts, so we wondered if maybe I could of used some sort of skin product that contained walnuts in it. Also, we have a bush outside of our house with mold on the leaves, it could've been possible that I rubbed up against that. We were not worried, but decided to keep an eye on the bumps.
Approx. a week after the first bump was noticed
The longer we watched it, the more it began to spread. The cluster had expanded, and now these bumps were beginning to turn into scabs. Some of the scabs began to scar, which lessened our worry slightly, because it seemed that whatever this was, it was healing on it's own. We decided that if it decided to spread even more, we would make an appointment with the dermatologist.
Bumps before they began to scab/scar, and bumps during the scabbing/scarring process
The condition worsened, and at a much faster pace than we imagined. My family and boyfriend were on vacation at the beach house, and each morning I woke up, there was a noticeable change in the bumps. We noticed that the days following when I went in the ocean, they seemed to look better, but in no way did it look like we didn't need to worry about it. My mom called the dermatologist on our third night at the beach, and scheduled an appointment for the day after we returned home.
Our dermatologist appointment was not what we expected it to be. The nurse came in the room, asked me some questions, and then told us that the doctor would be in shortly. We waited, and finally Dr. Bradshaw entered. He asked what we were in for, and I pulled up the leg of my pants to show him this:
Shortly after my appointment
Dr. Bradshaw's facial expression changed very quickly. You could see the confusion on his face. He began asking me questions.
"Have you gone on any hikes recently?"
"No."
"Are you using any different products?"
"No."
"Do you have any symptoms of a cold or flu?"
"No."
"Okay, I'm going to grab another doctor to take a look at it."
And with that, he left the room. My mom and I looked at each other, and all we could do was laugh. I've always been the kid to have weird medical problems, and apparently that followed me into adulthood. A few minutes later, another doctor entered the room, and began asking me a different series of questions, to which I similarly answered, "no." They left the room, and Dr. Bradshaw once again, returned with another doctor. This time, she did not ask me questions. Instead she looked at it closely with a magnifying glass, and began spouting off different conditions with very long names, and then finally she said, "PLEVA?" My doctor's face lit up, and he repeated her words, "PLEVA."
Dr. Bradshaw then began to brief my mom and I on what PLEVA was, and prescribed me with a strong steroid cream. He told me to keep applying this, and if it didn't start to heal, to give the office a call.
I got home and immediately applied the cream. Twice a day, I liberally applied the cream, never ever missing a day. Unfortunately, the condition did not get any better and began to spread to my other leg. We contacted the doctor, and made an appointment for the following week, about two weeks before my original routine check up. This is when I began to get discouraged. Self image and confidence is hard enough as an 18 year old girl, and when you add these gruesome lesions onto your legs, smack dab in the middle of summer, it makes the struggle to feel good about yourself even worse. I consider myself to be a tough person when it comes to things like this. I held it together for a long time, and had a very strong support system on my side. My boyfriend was a life saver during this time, kissing my legs, telling me he liked me better like this, that I looked camouflaged, anything to make me feel normal. The people who loved me unconditionally made it easy, it was the ones who didn't quite get it that made me break down.
Left leg full blown, and the beginning of the spread to my right
The first jab happened while at the beach with a guy friend and his cousins. We were laying out on our towels, drying off as we just got out of the water. I had mascara running down my face, so I made a joke and asked, "How do I look right now?" to which my guy friend responded with, "7. You'd be a 10 if it weren't for your legs." This hurt me, probably a lot more than he understood. Could these scabs on my legs really effect how pretty I was that much? Sure, it was a joke, but after the constant jokes from him, telling his cousins that I had Ebola, or that I had syphillis, it began to hurt me. I decided to just put it behind me, though, because it did not bother my boyfriend, and that's all that should matter.
About a week later, I attended a sleepover with a big group of my girlfriends. There are 13 girls in the group, and 11 of them attended the sleepover, making it a tight fit for everyone when looking for a spot to sleep. I asked a close friend of mine if she wanted to share an air mattress with me, to which she responded, "I don't want to sleep with you if I'm going to get your disease." My heart dropped, but I did my best to play it off, because I figured she was joking. But was she? The doctor specifically told me that this wasn't contagious, and when my friends asked me about it, I told them this straight away. I know these people weren't trying to hurt my feelings, but these constant "jokes" suddenly weren't funny to me anymore.
I went home the morning after that sleepover, went into my room, and broke down. Even writing this now makes me feel emotional, because I felt so helpless. Did they think it was my choice to have this happen to me? Did they think that making fun of me for it wouldn't hurt my feelings? Or was anyone even thinking about me at all? My family and boyfriend constantly tried to encourage me, but I was so broken at this point. The lesions began to get so bad that I didn't even take pictures anymore because I was disgusted with myself. I turned down so many opportunities, going to the beach, hanging out with people, etc. because I didn't want to show my legs. It was August in Southern California, there was no way I could get away with wearing an outfit that wouldn't expose this disgusting rash on my legs.
Time moved slow, but eventually the day of my appointment came. The nurse came in the room, and began taking pictures of my legs and stomach, where the lesions began to spread, and told us the doctor would be with us shortly. He came in the room knowing something was wrong because we called to schedule an earlier appointment. Again, I pulled up my pant leg and showed the doctor the awful condition this disease was now in. He explained that they were going to perform a biopsy to send into the lab, to classify exactly what this was. They were 90% sure it was PLEVA, but as doctors, you can never be too sure.
The word biopsy sent shivers down my spine. Since I was a kid, I have been terrified of needles. Every time I have needed to get my blood drawn, I have passed out. I informed my doctor of this, and he looked at me with a sincere and reassuring smile and told me, "I know you'll be just fine." They took me in a room, and performed the procedure. I only felt one prick of the needle that numbed my leg, and then could only feel Dr. Bradshaw and the nurses' fingers touching my leg. I was scared, but I was willing to do anything to figure out what this was, and make it go away. The doctor prescribed me on an antibiotic called doxycycline, and told me to take it two times a day for two weeks. After those two weeks, he wanted to see me again to get my stitches out, and reveal the results of the biopsy.
Bandage from stitches, with a slight view of my now infected right leg
I got home, and as you can guess, the first thing I did was take my antibiotics. I woke up the next morning, and immediately noticed a difference. Each day with the antibiotics, my condition slowly began to heal. I, and everyone else, were so relieved. My family and boyfriend knew how discouraged I had been about this, and to see me smiling, and feeling better about myself must of brought them a lot of peace.
Left leg, almost fully healed
We anticipated the appointment, as we wanted closure and reassurance that this was in fact PLEVA. Since it can come back, we needed to know in order to brace ourselves if the condition ever returned. I got my stitches out, and my mom, dad, and I were taken into a room with Dr. Bradshaw.
Dr. Bradshaw told us that the biopsy was inconclusive. He wasn't sure if it was because of testing error, but the results showed that it could have been either PLEVA, or a severe allergic reaction. He advised me to continue to take my medication, and that I had been heavy on his heart. I am so blessed that I got such a sincere doctor. He made the journey much less scary, and showed me that he truly cared about me getting better.
Since the biopsy was inconclusive, we are still unsure of exactly what my diagnoses is. The doctor was pretty confident that this was indeed a case of PLEVA, but we will never really know for sure.
My scars today (dark scar is from my biopsy)
I wrote this post to be both informative, and encouraging to anyone who can be going through something like this, or even just someone who is struggling with confidence issues in general. Nobody knows what another person is going through. Nobody knows how much their jokes can truly affect someone. I gave up. I let this disease take me over, I let it make me feel like I wasn't beautiful. I know it sounds cheesy, but beauty truly is skin deep. Personality shines through your skin, and makes you more alluring than big eyes or long, shiny hair ever could. Don't give up like I did. Don't let people tear you down, because they just don't get it, and probably never will. Everyone is beautiful in their own way, and I should have never let some scabs on my legs make me feel like I wasn't. Everything, with time, will get better. I say this to people anytime they are going through something hard. "Nothing would be thrown at you that you couldn't handle." And it's true. You can fight anything thrown your way. I love my scars, because they tell a story, and they tell people that I went through something and made it out alive.
If you're struggling with your image, the first solution is to believe that you are beautiful. Once you do that, nobody else's opinions will matter.
For more information on PLEVA, visit http://www.patient.co.uk/doctor/pityriasis-lichenoides
If you have any questions, or simply just need someone to talk to, please feel free to leave a comment, or email me at 17pagesemail@gmail.com
You're lovely, and you're beautiful. Don't ever forget that.
Tuesday, October 7, 2014
Being A Giver
photo from tumblr.com
I have always considered myself to be a very giving person. I find great satisfaction in doing things for people, whether it be surprising them on their birthday with some homemade cookies, or just doing my best to cheer them up when they're down. It's been in my nature for as long as I can remember. I care about everyone and everything, maybe a bit too much sometimes. I believe that every little living thing on this planet has a purpose, otherwise why would it be here? I've been blessed, but cursed, with an extremely sensitive heart, which is good, but in times when you are trying to be angry or taken seriously, it often only makes problems worse.
I constantly give, and constantly am trying to please everyone. I enjoy it, but sometimes I find it can all be a bit exhausting. I focus so much on others, I don't give myself enough to time to myself. To sort out my problems, to make myself happy, because, well, I've always been the girl who does everything for everyone else and worries about herself later. My art professor told me that Cancer signs are the glue of everything, and I think this is true. Everyone is so used to seeing me well put together and composed that when I crumble, they panic because they don't know what to do. After 18 years of doing this though, I'm starting to find that it might be a bit unhealthy.
The thing about being the way I am is that people begin to rely on you, or they know that at the end of the day, you'll be there no matter what they do or how they treat you. Sometimes I think, "When am I going to get it all back? When is someone going to do something for me?" Don't get me wrong, I have plenty of people in my life who fulfill what I need, but there are times when you just wish someone could read your mind and do it without you having to ask. I often take these feelings out on people. I think, if I'm working my butt off for you, why can't you work your butt off for me? You're my number one priority, why am I not yours? And then I realize, not everyone is like me, which isn't a bad thing. The world needs diversity, needs to be balanced. If every human being was giving and caring and sensitive, the world would either be too perfect, or crumble when one tiny conflict erupted.
This mindset I hold also does not help the anxiety I struggle with. I care a lot about what people think. Not in the sense of what I wear or where I live or what car I drive, more in a way of the kind of person I am. If someone has a bad opinion of me, I will worry about it. I'll lay in bed at night and think, "what did I do to make that person feel that way and how can I make it better?" Last Friday at a football game a girl waved at me, and I didn't notice until my boyfriend pointed it out. For the rest of the game I worried if she was upset with me, if she thought I didn't like her, because my main goal in life is to please everyone. Which again, isn't good.
I know I need to work on this. Sometimes I do need to put myself before others. This doesn't mean I'm going to become selfish and will never do anything for anyone ever again, but there should be a time when I need to just relax and do what I want.
Today I decided I would make a list of things I could do to focus on myself. If you struggle with the same things I do, maybe this will help you as well.
- Don't apologize for something if it isn't your fault.
- If you don't want to go somewhere or do something, don't force yourself to. Your friends, family, etc. will forgive you.
- Don't be so hard on yourself. Everybody makes mistakes, and there will always be at least one person in the world who doesn't like you, even if they don't have a reason.
- Don't expect everyone to be able to read your mind. If something bothers you, express it.
- Don't always jump to conclusions. Don't think just because someone hasn't done something for you, that they don't love you or care about you. Sometimes people just forget.
- Take more baths, drink more water, light some candles and read your favorite book. Every once in a while, just take an hour or two to make yourself happy
- When it all seems like a bit too much, just breathe.
P.S. Don't think I am this little fragile butterfly who cries under the ounce of any pressure. I can hold my own when I need to ;)
Monday, October 6, 2014
Nostalgia
I have been feeling under the weather all day and decided a little fresh air and photography would do the trick.
California is great, but when it comes to seasons, we often fall flat. A California autumn consists of 95 degrees and hazy skies.
Wooden bench made by my handyman "I can do anything" dad, with burlap pillows made by my wonderful and creative mother.
After several months, our vines are finally latching on and taking flight.
Days like these make me sad that I'll be gone from this house in less than a month. My parents don't want a big house all to themselves, since my brother and I are both moving out in December to go to college. I'm going to miss the little things about it, like the dried banana painted over on my bedroom walls from a crazy night with my old friends, or the way you have to pull in on the door and down on your key just to unlock the house. This is the longest I've ever lived anywhere, and part of me feels like I'm losing a home. They say home is where the heart is, but "there is something disturbing about recalling a warm memory and feeling utterly cold," as Nick Dunne quotes in Gone Girl. And in a sense, I can relate to what he's saying. When I think about this house, and everything that has happened in it, the laughter, the tears, the fights, the love, I can only feel cold. Call it a coping mechanism, if you will. My dad likes to tell us, "the only people who like change are wet babies" and I think that's true. Human beings have a hard time dealing with change. We are selfish, and want everything to stay the same. Just like how a father feels when he hands his daughter off at the end of the aisle, or when the family dog finally passes away, we want everything to stay young, happy, together, and well, the same. But everything happens for a reason, and this will be a new journey for my family and I, creating more memories to add to our collection. Sometimes you just have to close your eyes and take a leap of faith.
So let's jump.
Until next time,
Sunday, October 5, 2014
Private Library
I thought as a little extra I would showcase the books I've collected and finished over the years, enjoy!
Some of my favorites shown are PS I Love You by Cecilia Ahern, Looking For Alaska by John Green, and the If I Stay series by Gayle Foreman.
Let me know if you'd like me to review any of the books shown! Comment some of your favorites! See you soon!
-B
It has been a little bit of time (maybe about a week) since I have posted. I wanted to give myself some time to think about the direction I want to go in for my blog, and also do a bit of construction on the design. Cut me some slack as I am still learning how to use Blogger, hence the relevant picture above. That being said, I have decided what kind of blog I want this to be, and that is a review blog.
The blog's main focus will be on books, considering the fact that I read a book or two a week. I have been an avid reader throughout my whole life, and thought it would be a fun idea to share my thoughts and reviews on books I've read, or will read in the future.
I thought it would be nice for people who also enjoy reading. Before I choose a book, I always like to pop around and ask various people who I know have read the book their thoughts and rating of the book. This blog will be my way to do that for whoever is reading.
I am about to start reading 'Gone Girl' by Gillian Flynn, as the movie came out last weekend and I am a firm believer of reading the book before you see the movie. I will post my review of the book up when I am finished.
I would also like to add that this blog will not be strict to book reviews. I will still post tidbits about my life here and there, as well as my paintings, my photography, and maybe even some of my poetry. We'll see about the last one though.
In the mean time, if you have any suggestions on books I should read, or have any ideas for my blog, please feel free to leave a comment, as I would love to read them and see your input :)
Thank you, I'll see you soon!
-B
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